Battle Stations!!!

COMRADES!!! Many topics must be covered in this briefing so be sure to take notes on the various topics as much action needs to be taken. If you don't take notes you will be shot.

First, the People's State of Kalifornia is in the midst of an unauthorized uprising. While the Party is normally all for uprisings, this is one that is directed against us, and therefore cannot be condoned or tolerated. These rogue agents must be crushed to show the sheeple what is done to those who oppose Official Party Doctrine. In summation a few of our Hollywood mouthpieces have decided to go against the Party and have begun recruiting for Obahamamama instead of Glorious Uber Comrade HRC. As we all know this is in direct violation of Section 375, SubSection 8928, Paragraph 49 of Official Party Doctrine which states: "No person/appliance/animal/vegetable/mineral/thing/alien/fictional character/reptile/fish shall ever ever ever ever ever run against, appear to run against, think about running against, support anyone running against, or look at anyone running against Glorious Uber Comrade Hillary Rodham Clinton in any election for any office for anything. Failure to comply will result in immediate denouncing of the offender as a thoughtcriminal, their existence purged from any and all records and deportation to the gulag for eternal re-education." We must mobilize our agents in The People's State of Kalifornia to round up these dissidents, confiscate their property (it all belongs to the people anyway) and purge their existence from memory. We cannot allow these rogue factions to spread their lies to the sheeple...I mean people!

Second, Bushitler addressed the nation with his usual lies disguised as The State of the Union Address. If you see past the lies of his speech you can see that Bushitler is admitting responsibility for AIDS, Plague, hurricanes, earthquakes, shark attacks, global warming, rain on Aunt Bunny's wedding day, adult onset diabetes, and that annoying rash you got after that drunken night with Anna The Mistress of Pain. Tim Kaine gave a feeble response to Bushitler's speech, for which he is spending some quiet time on a "personal holiday" reflecting on his failure to the Party. Glorious Chairman Meow S. Punchenko gave the Official Party Response to Bushitler's speech. It is required reading by all. Failure to comply will result in re-education.

And lastly I need to take this time to remind everyone that Glorious Uber Comrade HRC DEMANDS your allegiance and hard labor during this time (and all times really) in order to ensure swift progress towards the Workers Paradise that Amerikkka will become, using the successful models of the worker's paradises of The Democratic People's Republic of Korea, The People's Republic of Cuba, and The People's Republic of China. Do not be swayed by the rogue Obahamamama or his agents, destruction lay down that road. If you experience moments of doubt or questions, just repeat to yourself 'It's all for the children!' and then call the toughtpolice and turn in your neighbor.

That is all.