Thursday, March 29, 2007

Glorious News!

Glorious news in the class struggle of the Proletariat, Comrades! Our Comrade Indoctrinators in Seattle are teaching the truths of the Revolution to the very young minds that have not yet been warped by the evils of capitalism! The comrades at the Hilltop Children's Center in Seattle took away the young proles' Legos because they were incorporating "their assumptions about ownership and the social power it conveys." Furthermore these assumptions "mirrored those of a class-based, capitalist society -- a society that we teachers believe to be unjust and oppressive." Sweet music to all progressives ears!! But since we progressives don't want to stifle young creative minds the Legos were eventually given back to the little Lenin Pioneers but only after ensuring that they understood the evils of capitalism:

At the end of that time, Legos returned to the classroom after the children agreed to several guiding principles framed by the teachers, including that "All structures are public structures" and "All structures will be standard sizes."

And to show that these glorious efforts have paid off, some quotes from the little Pioneers:

"A house is good because it is a community house."

"We should have equal houses. They should be standard sizes."

"It's important to have the same amount of power as other people over your building."

The Indoctrination Program is in full swing comrades!! We now see the fruits of the glorious Proletarian Struggle Against the Hated Evil Capitalist Pig Dog Scum (PSAHECPDS for short).

in the world of the Father of The Revolution, Vladimir Lenin, "Give us the child for 8 years and it will be a Bolshevik forever."

I feel like singing!!

Not to be overshadowed by our Comrades in Seattle (not that this is a competition as all competition is barbaric and wrong, see here for a full explanation of the People's view on competition) our comrades in Illinois are on the front lines of the struggle yet again! In their latest push for equality for all, the State House passed a bill letting the poor oppressed illegal immigrants of Illinois obtain a "driving certificate" that allows them to drive legally in Illinois. They of course would have to provide proof of residency, proof of insurance, and a photo ID AFTER they obtain the certificate. Thats fair comrades! Illegal aliens have just as much right to driving, being in this country, and your stuff as you do! Stop oppressing them! Up next, giving Illegals the right to vote! Minnesota is on the forefront of this measure, but who will actually be the first to stand up to the evil hated capitalist oppressors and let everyone and anyone who is on the planet vote in US elections! After all, whoever is in power in Amerikkka affects the whole world does it not?

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Minnesota on the Forefront of Progress!

Minnesota is leading the march toward the progressive utopia that Amerikkka is destined to become!

MOT tip to MN progressives: Be sure to include in your official releases the Party approved slogan of "It's all for the children"

Monday, March 12, 2007

Enemy of the People!

Ted Koppell has been deemed an Enemy of the People for his recent slanderous remarks which are contrary to Official Party Approved doctrine. All faithful Party members will publicly denounce this unperson and never ever watch, listen, or read anything by the unperson. Failure to comply will result in re-education.

Friday, March 9, 2007

Hero of the People!

The Governor of Illinois, Comrade Rod Blagojevich, has earned the Party's Hero of the People award!! He has done the People's Work by tirelessly inciting class warfare and doing what he can to cripple businesses in the People's State of Illinois.

In his most recent 5 Year Plan he has increased spending by the People's State by promising socialized health care to all the people, embryonic stem cell research to cure pimples, and pouring more money into the State indoctrination centers. Paying for all these great Programs of the People will of course fall to the evil hated kapitalist bourgeois evil companies in the People's State who dare to make money by providing goods and services. Crush those hated kapitalist oppressors Comrade Rod! Squeeze those evil businesses to make them pay, and if they scurry out of the People's State of Illinois, good riddance I say! The People's State doesn't need those money grubbing hated kapitalist oppressing companies! The State will take care of us all!

On a side note, Comrade Rod, you have been warned once to include the People's Slogan, "It's all for the children" in your propaganda to push Party Programs. While you did say that this newest advancement toward the Workers Paradise was a 'moral imperative', you need to include a line about the children and other Official Party Propaganda Phrases. This is your last warning, failure to comply will result in re-education.

Wednesday, March 7, 2007

The Truth!!!

For those of your who think the hated Obama is the one who will deliever us unto the Workers Paradise, a few quick points on why Obama is the People's Enemy!

1.He was a slave owner!!

2.He's not as black as Glorious Uber Comrade HRC

3.He's a nasty filthy lower than ants dreg of society smoker!!!!!!!

4.He's an evil zealot church goer!!!

So as you can plainly see, only Glorious Uber Comrade HRC can transform Amerikkka into the Worker's Paradise of the People's States of Amerika through mandated pay scales, socialized health care, equal distribution of goods and services, and in glorious Comrade Marx's words, "From each according to his ability, to each according to his need!"

Monday, March 5, 2007

People's Enemy Obama!

Do not be wooed by the forked tongue of Obama!! Latest polls show that the weak are being drawn over to the side that will lead you down the path of destruction! Be strong Comrades! Though it may seem dark and grim, remember to trust Glorious Uber Comrade HRC, she knows what she is doing. All true enlightened progressive thinkers know that Glorious Uber Comrade HRC is the only one that can lead us to true communist paradise and she will prevail. The Obama character is nothing but a mere speck compared to Glorious Uber Comrade HRC. So just sit back, relax and just let us do the thinking for you and you will receive your Party approved voting instructions shortly before the presidential election.

That is all.

Man is Destroying Mars!

With the recent proof that has been spread around about man's destroying the Earth with carbon spewing implements of death such as the automobile, and how it is THE one and only unquestionable direct cause for global warming, new evidence has arisen that shows that man is destroying Mars as well!
To sum up the article and the science behind it for those who do not wish to be inundated with 'facts':

1. Earth's temperature is rising

2. Increased population and industrialization on Earth coincides with Earths rising temperatures

3. Therefore man is the cause of Earths rising temperature

4. Mars' temperature is rising also

5. Mars' temperature increase coincides with Earth's increase in population and industrialization

6. Therefore man is the cause of Mars' rising temperature

This is proof positive that man is destroying the universe with his evil kapitalistic tendencies! Only the Party can solve this universal plague!! Al Gore has the answers!! This scourge must be stopped before they destroy The People's Paradise!