Friday, January 26, 2007

Fraud of the People!

Enemy of The People

Bono is a fraud, comrades! While has runs about preaching the virtues extolled by The Party, in all actuality he is a capitalist running pig dog scum! From this moment forward all of U2's music is deemed contrary to the Teaching of The Party and therefore banned!! If you currently own anything by and/or of U2 you must destroy it immediately, for the sake of the children! You don't want them contaminated by the capitalist lies! If you know of anyone who has not destroyed their U2 propaganda, report them to the thought police at once!

Banned Reading

Added to the list of unauthorized reading is this article which sole purpose is to spread lies about Glorious Comrade HRC. It is merely hate filled drivel put forth but the evil capitalists whose aim is to destroy all the hard work The Party has accomplished to move this nation towards the Workers Paradise. Glorious Uber Comrade HRC's driving force behind all her policies has not been power, wealth, and an over active urge to crush the independent souls of the citizenry. It has been 'all for the children.' After all it is she who said, 'It takes a village to raise a child.' Well in order to raise all the children in our village it requires huge government, strong monitoring of the sheeple, and strict laws and guidelines so that the children are raised in accordance to The Party's (and therefore the people's) principles. Plus in order to pay all those layers of government and monitors, we need to tax the beejeebus out of everyone. Everyone would be happy to pay 90% income taxes because 'It's all for the children'. You don't want to be labeled a child hater do you? I didn't think so. So fork over your cash and property because there are some high school drop out crackheads that need it more than you.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Battle Stations!!!

COMRADES!!! Many topics must be covered in this briefing so be sure to take notes on the various topics as much action needs to be taken. If you don't take notes you will be shot.

First, the People's State of Kalifornia is in the midst of an unauthorized uprising. While the Party is normally all for uprisings, this is one that is directed against us, and therefore cannot be condoned or tolerated. These rogue agents must be crushed to show the sheeple what is done to those who oppose Official Party Doctrine. In summation a few of our Hollywood mouthpieces have decided to go against the Party and have begun recruiting for Obahamamama instead of Glorious Uber Comrade HRC. As we all know this is in direct violation of Section 375, SubSection 8928, Paragraph 49 of Official Party Doctrine which states: "No person/appliance/animal/vegetable/mineral/thing/alien/fictional character/reptile/fish shall ever ever ever ever ever run against, appear to run against, think about running against, support anyone running against, or look at anyone running against Glorious Uber Comrade Hillary Rodham Clinton in any election for any office for anything. Failure to comply will result in immediate denouncing of the offender as a thoughtcriminal, their existence purged from any and all records and deportation to the gulag for eternal re-education." We must mobilize our agents in The People's State of Kalifornia to round up these dissidents, confiscate their property (it all belongs to the people anyway) and purge their existence from memory. We cannot allow these rogue factions to spread their lies to the sheeple...I mean people!

Second, Bushitler addressed the nation with his usual lies disguised as The State of the Union Address. If you see past the lies of his speech you can see that Bushitler is admitting responsibility for AIDS, Plague, hurricanes, earthquakes, shark attacks, global warming, rain on Aunt Bunny's wedding day, adult onset diabetes, and that annoying rash you got after that drunken night with Anna The Mistress of Pain. Tim Kaine gave a feeble response to Bushitler's speech, for which he is spending some quiet time on a "personal holiday" reflecting on his failure to the Party. Glorious Chairman Meow S. Punchenko gave the Official Party Response to Bushitler's speech. It is required reading by all. Failure to comply will result in re-education.

And lastly I need to take this time to remind everyone that Glorious Uber Comrade HRC DEMANDS your allegiance and hard labor during this time (and all times really) in order to ensure swift progress towards the Workers Paradise that Amerikkka will become, using the successful models of the worker's paradises of The Democratic People's Republic of Korea, The People's Republic of Cuba, and The People's Republic of China. Do not be swayed by the rogue Obahamamama or his agents, destruction lay down that road. If you experience moments of doubt or questions, just repeat to yourself 'It's all for the children!' and then call the toughtpolice and turn in your neighbor.

That is all.

Friday, January 19, 2007

More Victories of the People!!

Comrades! So much good news I don't know where to begin!

Let us start with the Glorious Workers Paradise of China. The kind and benevolent leaders of the Revolution in China has developed new defense capabilities in order to prevent the hated evil Amerikkkan imperialists from attacking the peace and freedom loving peoples of China from space borne vehicles such as communications satellites and the Hubble Telescope. Take that evil imperial capitalist pig dogs! Since it is an accepted truth that civilizations from other planets are rabid capitalist pig dogs, it will come in most handy when these other civilizations try and invade the peaceful people of China! Take that Space Capitalists!!

Next we have more Enemies of the People brought to justice! Evil Amerikkkan imperialist border patrol agents shoot a defenseless Mexican national just because he was trying to operate his family owned import/export business. All he was trying to do, comrades, is make some money so he can feed his children!! Remember, 'It's all for the children!'. How dare those evil capitalist pig dog Amerikkkan imperialist border patrol agents prevent him from earning money to feed his children! They try to spread lies like he was smuggling drugs, crossing the border illegally, blah blah blah. Even if this was true it is all irrelevant because he was doing it 'for the children' and that makes anything and everything alright. I'm sure the actual events happened this way:

Innocent Mexican taking a nice stroll along the border enjoying the wonderful day. Evil drunk imperialist capitalist redneck Amerikkkan border patrol agents see innocent peace loving Mexican national. One turns to the other in his thick barely literate imperialist Amerikkkan accent and says 'Hey Zeke, lets have us sum gud fun wit dis here Mexicano'. The other giggles uncontrollably. They run after the innocent peace loving Mexican. The innocent peaceful Mexican tries to escape but the hated imperialists can run fast because they chase down peace loving individuals all day long. The agents throw him to the ground and shoot him, laughing and guffawing all the while. Since the agents are distracted laughing and patting each other on the back for what they did, the poor innocent helpless Mexican national crawls back home and sobbingly tells his children that he did not make any money today because of the hated evil Amerikkkan capitalist pig dogs so they will not be able to eat tonight.

But the glorious Justice of the People has been meted out to these horrible horrible people. We have officially entered the Enlightened Age comrades! Rejoice!

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

People's State of Kalifornia Shining Example!

The People's State of Kalifornia is a shining example of The Party's goal of the Nanny State. Comrade Schwartzenegger has decreed that all residents of Kalifornia will have health insurance, regardless of citizenship status! A glorious day comrades! And how will the People's State of Kalifornia pay for this, you may ask? Not to worry comrades! Comrade Schwartzenegger is taxing businesses, as well he should. Those bourgeois capitalist pig dogs don't need that money!! The People who don't work, have no skills, have no desire to do anything productive, and are leeches on society need that money!! It's not fair that a doctor who took on the economical burden of 4 years of college, 4 years of medical school, and 5 years of residency should be making $100,000+ per year and high school dropouts who smoke crack all day get nothing!! Wealth redistribution is our top priority! Fear not slackers of Amerika, for we will get you the money you need to have BMWs, Playstations, and big houses!! You are entitled to those things and we will get them for you!

Extra points to the People's State of Kalifornia for incorporating The Party's new 2007 Slogan.

Remember, "Its all for the children."

Tuesday, January 9, 2007

Official Party Approved Slogan for 2007


Another glorious Year of the People is upon us! We have made great advances for The Party in 2006, now we 'Must Work Harder' in 2007 to ensure that our gains do not become losses!! We must continue our tank-like unstoppable roll towards the workers utopia on into the indefinite future. To goad the sheeple into willingly handing over their rights and money, The Party has come up with this slogan:

"It's all for the children!"

What troglodite wouldn't gladly turn themselves into drooling slaves of the state for the children? People who hate children, thats who!!! Do you want to be known as a child hater?! Of course not. No one does.

So, effectively immediately, whenever The Party tries to railroad our socialist workers utopia legislation through congress, it shall be accompanied by "It's for the children!". Whenever the thought police are spotted rounding up dissidents at 3 AM, they shall respond to the witness with, "It's for the children!" and then thump the witness on the head with their Sticks of the People.

For you progressive followers of The Party, whenever you encounter a capitalist bourgeois pig dog that starts blathering about "individuality" "wealth" "personal responsibility" "pay based on achievement" or "I love America", simply scream at them "It's for the children!" and then demonize them as child haters and right wing religious zealots. Then immediately contact the Thought Police and turn them in.

It's For The Children!!!