The Ministry of Truth

Capilaism is at an end!!

2008-10-05T10:44:00.002-06:00

I am sure most of you have heard the glorious news comrades! For those of you who have missed the boat or have just gotten out of the Gulag, our glorious 'Bailout Bill' has passed!! I still chuckle every time I hear it called that for as we all know it has absolutely nothing to do with bailouts. Ha!
We now control private property....huh? What do you mean 'How do we control private property?' Moron. Sit down and take notes, polish your shovel while I am explaining this again.

When you have a mortgage on your house, do you own the house? Or does the entity that holds that mortgage own your house until you pay it off? So the bank held the deed to your house until you paid them back their money. Well now the bank doesn't hold that mortgage, the government does. So now the government owns your house until you pay off the mortgage. Through this method of control we can force all our 'green' crap down people's throats, force them to buy the heaters and air conditioners and water heaters that we want. And we can even dictate to people where we want them to live!!
"No no. We're not giving you a mortgage for a 5000 square foot house for just you and your wife, thats too big. Individuals are only required to have 300 square feet allocated to them. We will however give you the mortgage for that house if you are willing to take in 17 low income and indigent individuals."
Don't you see? This is the perfect method for control! This is the great leap forward The Party has been waiting for!!! Our biggest hurdle has been private property. Now that we have wrested that away from the masses the rest will be cake.
Sing the praises of the Soviet Union comrades! For we are victorious!!

O'Brien

Central Planning is Almost Here!

2008-10-02T17:51:00.002-06:00

Comrades!!

Glorious day in the continuing struggle to bring about the worker's paradise of the People's Democratic Republic of America! As we have all heard by now the People's Senate has passed the Central Planning bill, commonly referred to as the financial bailout bill for the mouth breathers, bringing us one step closer to Central Planning! Of course we've told the sheeple that it's different from that original bill, because well it is different! Sure it's the exact same thing wrapped in a bunch of earmarks that no greedy politician will be able to resist voting for, but who's keeping track! We decide what the truth is anyway! Once the People's House rams this bill home, the first of many 5 year plans will be implemented by the Obamessiah starting next year. I'm all tingly in my legs!

Of course comrades this is by no means the end. The plan is as follows:

This bailout will not work and things will get even worse under our control (blaming it of course on George Bush).
Other industries will begin to falter such as the auto industry, rail, airlines, etc.
In our benevolent fashion we will take control of these industries as well for we cannot let them fail because think of the people that will lose their jobs!
Then we will control all means of production, wages, housing, and prices.
Then and only then will we have won!

I am so giddy with glee I can hardly contain myself!! The struggle that started in 1917 is finally coming to fruition!

Of course it could all fall apart if the sheeple wake up and badger their representatives into submission and the bill doesn't pass. That would be a dark day indeed. But let us not dwell on the negatives comrades! We need to focus on the positives and our accomplishments and look to the glorious future of peace! A world at peace beaten into submission and united under the banner of communism!

Never Forget

2008-09-11T19:05:00.002-06:00

(/karacter)

This being the anniversary of the September 11, 2001 attacks on America, I need to have my own little memorial for those who fell that day and for those who have fallen since.

We must remember who these people are and they will never stop until they are all burning in hell.

(karacter)

Hillary vs. Obama?

2008-06-24T10:59:00.003-06:00

Comrades,

Currently it may seem that Obama may be the Presidential candidate for The Party, but is he the right choice?
Glorious Uber Comrade HRC has shown that she will indeed be the only candidate that can and will lead us to the Worker's Paradise of the People's Democratic Republic of Amerika. All the proof you shall need follows. The candidates in their own words, first Glorious Uber Comrade HRC:

"It's time to put the common good, the national interest, ahead of individuals."
"It's time for a new beginning, for an end to government of the few, by the few, and for the few, and to replace it with shared responsibility for shared prosperity."
"We're going to take things away from you on behalf of the common good. "
"I am a fan of the social policies that you find in Europe."
"I hope we will come together as a nation and do whatever it takes to keep guns away from people who have no business with them."
"We have to build a political consensus, and that requires people to give up a little bit of their own turf in order to create this common ground."
"We need to be as well prepared to defend ourselves against public health dangers, as we should be to defend ourselves against any foreign danger."
"I had a few ideas about health care, and I've learned a few lessons since then, but I haven't given up the goal."
"Too many people have made too much money."
"I certainly think the free-market has failed."
"(We) can't just let business as usual go on, and that means something has to be taken away from some people."
"It's time to send a clear message to what has become the most profitable sector in the entire economy, that they are being watched."
"The money has to go to the federal government because the federal government will spend that money better than the private sector will spend it."

Now Obama:

"Our individual salvation depends on our collective salvation."
"It's only when you hitch your wagon to something larger than yourself that you realize your true potential."
"I don't oppose all wars. What I am opposed to is a dumb war. What I am opposed to is a rash war."

As you can see, Obama has not proven that he is communist enough. He is not a true agent of the party! Aside from the above quotes, all Obama has blathered on about is 'Hope' and 'Change'. What does that mean? He is an agent of the capitalists comrades sent to thwart and subvert our goal of a communist Amerika!
Glorious Uber Comrade HRC, as seen from her quotes, has the means and plans to being about a Marxist Amerika! Oh sure he talks nice about Marxism and socialism and he wants a communist Amerika like all good party mouthpieces, but he is not the vessel of our salvation.
Trust me comrades, after Glorious Comrade HRC becomes the Supreme Central Committee Chairperson, there will be repercussions for those who have not remained loyal to the Party. Trotsky ring a bell?

"What can I do Comrade O'Brien? I want the People's Workers Paradise of Amerika, but Obama is going to get the nomination!"

Not true comrades! Keep faith! Glorious Uber Comrade HRC has a plan! She always does! She will convince those super delegates to see the light! And she will reward the faithful with cushy Party jobs when it is all over.

Take this as your last warning.

O'Brien

(HT to The People's Cube for the quotes)

Chicago Embraces Global Warming

2007-05-03T10:30:00.000-06:00

Chicago is towing the progressive line when it comes to global warming, comrades. Being the largest city in the glorious Peoples State of Illinois, it damn well better. They are opening an exhibit on how global warming is caused by evil kapitalist white chiristian male pig dog scum and how it is everyones duty to wipe out this menace, after all we are doing it "For the Children"TM and if you don't do your part you hate children.

Along with globes to help visualize and educate the proles on how the evil kapitalist white christian male pig dog scum is destroying the planet, I expect there to be numerous organizations and placards about how such things as toilet paper is killing the blue spotted three toed pygmy tree frog which is indigenous to a two square mile area in central Borneo, and how your Cheetoes are destroying the atmosphere.

Also I would like to draw your attention to The Church of Reformed Latter-Day Climatologists.This wonderful Progressive Religion is the new and official religion of all true progressives. I sincerely hope that they will attended this glorious educational event to spread the holy word of the Prophet Al Gore (PBUH) and convert all the unwashed heathens into progressive caring Goremons.

Attendance is mandatory.

Zimbabwe

2007-05-02T11:56:00.000-06:00

Comrades!

Glorious news from our brothers in Zimbabwe. After Comrade Mugabe took the main means of agriculture and production away from the hated evil White Christian Male and redistributed them to the poor suffering hard working native population of Zimbabwe, glorious things have been happening! It is proof positive how the evil hated white kapitalist pig dog christian male scum have oppressed peoples for far too long, and how once liberated from this oppression, they can achieve more and be better workers and citizens than the evil hated white kapitalist pig dog chirstian scum.

Read on and become weepy with the heady gloriousness that is wealth redistribution and communism!

To Action!!!

2007-04-23T19:23:00.000-06:00

The dreaded Obama has not gone away as was originally planned. We shall find the person responsible for purging this menace and have them purged, fear not comrades. However now the Obama menace has reached a level that it is now the duty of every good progressive citizen to denounce this Obama and clear the path for the right true Queen of the new People's State of Amerika, Glorious Uber Comrade HRC. If you do not believe me, look here and see the vile damage that this false prophet has done!
Do not listen to him comrades! For if you do...all I will say is remember the Trotsky purges....

We simply do it for the children comrades! It's all for the children! We love them so!

Glorious News!

2007-03-29T06:36:00.000-06:00

Glorious news in the class struggle of the Proletariat, Comrades! Our Comrade Indoctrinators in Seattle are teaching the truths of the Revolution to the very young minds that have not yet been warped by the evils of capitalism! The comrades at the Hilltop Children's Center in Seattle took away the young proles' Legos because they were incorporating "their assumptions about ownership and the social power it conveys." Furthermore these assumptions "mirrored those of a class-based, capitalist society -- a society that we teachers believe to be unjust and oppressive." Sweet music to all progressives ears!! But since we progressives don't want to stifle young creative minds the Legos were eventually given back to the little Lenin Pioneers but only after ensuring that they understood the evils of capitalism:

At the end of that time, Legos returned to the classroom after the children agreed to several guiding principles framed by the teachers, including that "All structures are public structures" and "All structures will be standard sizes."

And to show that these glorious efforts have paid off, some quotes from the little Pioneers:

"A house is good because it is a community house."

"We should have equal houses. They should be standard sizes."

"It's important to have the same amount of power as other people over your building."

The Indoctrination Program is in full swing comrades!! We now see the fruits of the glorious Proletarian Struggle Against the Hated Evil Capitalist Pig Dog Scum (PSAHECPDS for short).

in the world of the Father of The Revolution, Vladimir Lenin, "Give us the child for 8 years and it will be a Bolshevik forever."

I feel like singing!!

Not to be overshadowed by our Comrades in Seattle (not that this is a competition as all competition is barbaric and wrong, see here for a full explanation of the People's view on competition) our comrades in Illinois are on the front lines of the struggle yet again! In their latest push for equality for all, the State House passed a bill letting the poor oppressed illegal immigrants of Illinois obtain a "driving certificate" that allows them to drive legally in Illinois. They of course would have to provide proof of residency, proof of insurance, and a photo ID AFTER they obtain the certificate. Thats fair comrades! Illegal aliens have just as much right to driving, being in this country, and your stuff as you do! Stop oppressing them! Up next, giving Illegals the right to vote! Minnesota is on the forefront of this measure, but who will actually be the first to stand up to the evil hated capitalist oppressors and let everyone and anyone who is on the planet vote in US elections! After all, whoever is in power in Amerikkka affects the whole world does it not?

Minnesota on the Forefront of Progress!

2007-03-14T08:21:00.000-06:00

Minnesota is leading the march toward the progressive utopia that Amerikkka is destined to become!

MOT tip to MN progressives: Be sure to include in your official releases the Party approved slogan of "It's all for the children"

Enemy of the People!

2007-03-12T08:19:00.000-06:00

Ted Koppell has been deemed an Enemy of the People for his recent slanderous remarks which are contrary to Official Party Approved doctrine. All faithful Party members will publicly denounce this unperson and never ever watch, listen, or read anything by the unperson. Failure to comply will result in re-education.

Hero of the People!

2007-03-09T14:33:00.000-06:00

The Governor of Illinois, Comrade Rod Blagojevich, has earned the Party's Hero of the People award!! He has done the People's Work by tirelessly inciting class warfare and doing what he can to cripple businesses in the People's State of Illinois.

In his most recent 5 Year Plan he has increased spending by the People's State by promising socialized health care to all the people, embryonic stem cell research to cure pimples, and pouring more money into the State indoctrination centers. Paying for all these great Programs of the People will of course fall to the evil hated kapitalist bourgeois evil companies in the People's State who dare to make money by providing goods and services. Crush those hated kapitalist oppressors Comrade Rod! Squeeze those evil businesses to make them pay, and if they scurry out of the People's State of Illinois, good riddance I say! The People's State doesn't need those money grubbing hated kapitalist oppressing companies! The State will take care of us all!

On a side note, Comrade Rod, you have been warned once to include the People's Slogan, "It's all for the children" in your propaganda to push Party Programs. While you did say that this newest advancement toward the Workers Paradise was a 'moral imperative', you need to include a line about the children and other Official Party Propaganda Phrases. This is your last warning, failure to comply will result in re-education.

The Truth!!!

2007-03-07T08:07:00.000-06:00

For those of your who think the hated Obama is the one who will deliever us unto the Workers Paradise, a few quick points on why Obama is the People's Enemy!

1.He was a slave owner!!

2.He's not as black as Glorious Uber Comrade HRC

3.He's a nasty filthy lower than ants dreg of society smoker!!!!!!!

4.He's an evil zealot church goer!!!

So as you can plainly see, only Glorious Uber Comrade HRC can transform Amerikkka into the Worker's Paradise of the People's States of Amerika through mandated pay scales, socialized health care, equal distribution of goods and services, and in glorious Comrade Marx's words, "From each according to his ability, to each according to his need!"

People's Enemy Obama!

2007-03-05T10:11:00.000-06:00

Do not be wooed by the forked tongue of Obama!! Latest polls show that the weak are being drawn over to the side that will lead you down the path of destruction! Be strong Comrades! Though it may seem dark and grim, remember to trust Glorious Uber Comrade HRC, she knows what she is doing. All true enlightened progressive thinkers know that Glorious Uber Comrade HRC is the only one that can lead us to true communist paradise and she will prevail. The Obama character is nothing but a mere speck compared to Glorious Uber Comrade HRC. So just sit back, relax and just let us do the thinking for you and you will receive your Party approved voting instructions shortly before the presidential election.

That is all.

Man is Destroying Mars!

2007-03-05T09:47:00.000-06:00

With the recent proof that has been spread around about man's destroying the Earth with carbon spewing implements of death such as the automobile, and how it is THE one and only unquestionable direct cause for global warming, new evidence has arisen that shows that man is destroying Mars as well!
To sum up the article and the science behind it for those who do not wish to be inundated with 'facts':

1. Earth's temperature is rising

2. Increased population and industrialization on Earth coincides with Earths rising temperatures

3. Therefore man is the cause of Earths rising temperature

4. Mars' temperature is rising also

5. Mars' temperature increase coincides with Earth's increase in population and industrialization

6. Therefore man is the cause of Mars' rising temperature

This is proof positive that man is destroying the universe with his evil kapitalistic tendencies! Only the Party can solve this universal plague!! Al Gore has the answers!! This scourge must be stopped before they destroy The People's Paradise!

Happy Birthday Dear Leader!!

2007-02-16T07:58:00.000-06:00

The Ministry of Truth sends it's most earnest birhtday greetings to one of the People's Heroes, Dear Leader Kim Jong Il. Kim Jong Il has led the workers paradise of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea (DPRK) to become the most prosperous country in the world! He is a champion against the hated Amerikkkan kapitalist pig dog scum who believe in such nonsensical ideas as personal responsibility, individualism, and property ownership. When will the evil Amerikkkans wake up and realize that all persons must serve all other persons and that The Party is the only true way to prosperity for all! That is our struggle comrades, and with Dear Leader Kim Jong Il fighting the good fight against kapitalism and individuality eventually we will prevail!
He has shown his cunning with this latest 'deal' with the Amerikkkans about stopping the People's right to arm themselves with nuclear weapons against the kapitalists. This shows how foolish the kapitalists are! They do not even realize that Glorious Uber Comrade HRC's husband did this very thing in the nineties, and Dear Leader showed them! He took their appeasement offerings and went on developing the Nuclear Weapons of the People! Ha ha! Foolish Kapitalists! Keep sending your tithe to the DPRK, and Dear Leader will use your kapitalist exploitation units against you for the betterment of The Party!

People's State of Kalifornia Raises the Bar!

2007-02-15T14:56:00.000-06:00

Comrades! Glorious news from the People's State of Kalifornia! It seems that they are trying to make up for the dissidents that have infiltrated Kalifornia to take away support from Glorious Uber Comrade HRC, but I digress. I cannot formulate into words the sheer brilliance of this maneuver by the People's School Board, you must simply read it for yourself in it's entirety, and watch the video.
In the words of the Father of the Revolution Vladimir Ilyich Lenin:

“Give us the child for 8 years and it will be a Bolshevik forever”

Long live the Glorious Revolution!!

New Cause of Global Warming Discovered

2007-02-12T15:24:00.000-06:00

Glorious Comrade Margaret has discovered the biggest producer of global warming to date! She stumbled upon while doing intense Party approved research.
We must all join the cause and stop this menace before the polar bears have no snow to frolic in while the do their polar beary dances of delight! Think of their children! And your children! And your neighbors children! And children of things that haven't any children yet, but would if they knew that their children could do child like things while they are children living in their children world!! Children children children! Have you no heart?!
If you do not take up this fight you hate the children and all things child like and you will be purged by the children because you hate them so!

Accolades to Georgia Tech

2007-02-06T13:31:00.000-06:00

Comrades! All glories and accolades to the free thinkers of the student newspaper The Georgia Tech Technique which is of course from Georgia Tech. These brave editors are standing up to the evil hated kapitalist pig dog scum by refusing to print their lies. How dare the hated kapitalists attack the innocent peace and freedom loving jihadis! It just shows another reason why the imperialists need to be stopped and why The Party is the only organization that can be trusted. Do not give in to the lies peaceful freedom loving persons of Georgia Tech, The Party stands with you!

PS. If you could throw into your reasoning for resisting that you are doing it for the children, there may be an extra potato ration for you.

Glorious Uber Comrade HRC Speaks Truth o' The People

2007-02-05T11:29:00.000-06:00

At The Party's Winter Meeting, Glorious Uber Comrade HRC stood up and shouted the Party's goals for the world to hear! The most beautiful segment, which brought the Party faithful to tears and the evil kapitalist pig dug scum to their knees was this:

"Again, we're working to try to push this agenda forward. The other day the oil companies reported the highest profits in the history of the world. I want to take those profits and I want to put them into a strategic energy fund..." (Full transcript of her Gloriousness's speech here. It is Party Mandated Required Reading.)

It is a glorious day comrades when the Party can openly denounce the kapitalist pig dog scum to the cheers of the masses! It is truly a sign of the massive progress The Party has made! Rejoice! Extra beet rations for all this month!

Glorious Uber Comrade HRC has stayed true to the Party's ideals throughout the years, unlike some un-persons who have since been purged from the records. You can see that she has spoke of the coming Worker's Paradise of the People's Soviets of Amerika since 2001!

Example 1 Example 2 Example 3 Example 4

Of course they are all of the same instance, the reason being that it is proof that she did in fact say those very things and others cannot claim that she is not one of the Party Faithful! I speak of course of those purveyors of hate and evil kapitalist pig dog scum ideology, Hot Air.

Do not be swayed or lose faith Comrades! The eve of the Workers Paradise is nigh! And remember, Glorious Uber Comrade HRC does it all for the children!

Fraud of the People!

2007-01-26T14:43:00.000-06:00

Bono is a fraud, comrades! While has runs about preaching the virtues extolled by The Party, in all actuality he is a capitalist running pig dog scum! From this moment forward all of U2's music is deemed contrary to the Teaching of The Party and therefore banned!! If you currently own anything by and/or of U2 you must destroy it immediately, for the sake of the children! You don't want them contaminated by the capitalist lies! If you know of anyone who has not destroyed their U2 propaganda, report them to the thought police at once!

Banned Reading

2007-01-26T14:07:00.000-06:00

Added to the list of unauthorized reading is this article which sole purpose is to spread lies about Glorious Comrade HRC. It is merely hate filled drivel put forth but the evil capitalists whose aim is to destroy all the hard work The Party has accomplished to move this nation towards the Workers Paradise. Glorious Uber Comrade HRC's driving force behind all her policies has not been power, wealth, and an over active urge to crush the independent souls of the citizenry. It has been 'all for the children.' After all it is she who said, 'It takes a village to raise a child.' Well in order to raise all the children in our village it requires huge government, strong monitoring of the sheeple, and strict laws and guidelines so that the children are raised in accordance to The Party's (and therefore the people's) principles. Plus in order to pay all those layers of government and monitors, we need to tax the beejeebus out of everyone. Everyone would be happy to pay 90% income taxes because 'It's all for the children'. You don't want to be labeled a child hater do you? I didn't think so. So fork over your cash and property because there are some high school drop out crackheads that need it more than you.

Battle Stations!!!

2007-01-25T08:06:00.000-06:00

COMRADES!!! Many topics must be covered in this briefing so be sure to take notes on the various topics as much action needs to be taken. If you don't take notes you will be shot.

First, the People's State of Kalifornia is in the midst of an unauthorized uprising. While the Party is normally all for uprisings, this is one that is directed against us, and therefore cannot be condoned or tolerated. These rogue agents must be crushed to show the sheeple what is done to those who oppose Official Party Doctrine. In summation a few of our Hollywood mouthpieces have decided to go against the Party and have begun recruiting for Obahamamama instead of Glorious Uber Comrade HRC. As we all know this is in direct violation of Section 375, SubSection 8928, Paragraph 49 of Official Party Doctrine which states: "No person/appliance/animal/vegetable/mineral/thing/alien/fictional character/reptile/fish shall ever ever ever ever ever run against, appear to run against, think about running against, support anyone running against, or look at anyone running against Glorious Uber Comrade Hillary Rodham Clinton in any election for any office for anything. Failure to comply will result in immediate denouncing of the offender as a thoughtcriminal, their existence purged from any and all records and deportation to the gulag for eternal re-education." We must mobilize our agents in The People's State of Kalifornia to round up these dissidents, confiscate their property (it all belongs to the people anyway) and purge their existence from memory. We cannot allow these rogue factions to spread their lies to the sheeple...I mean people!

Second, Bushitler addressed the nation with his usual lies disguised as The State of the Union Address. If you see past the lies of his speech you can see that Bushitler is admitting responsibility for AIDS, Plague, hurricanes, earthquakes, shark attacks, global warming, rain on Aunt Bunny's wedding day, adult onset diabetes, and that annoying rash you got after that drunken night with Anna The Mistress of Pain. Tim Kaine gave a feeble response to Bushitler's speech, for which he is spending some quiet time on a "personal holiday" reflecting on his failure to the Party. Glorious Chairman Meow S. Punchenko gave the Official Party Response to Bushitler's speech. It is required reading by all. Failure to comply will result in re-education.

And lastly I need to take this time to remind everyone that Glorious Uber Comrade HRC DEMANDS your allegiance and hard labor during this time (and all times really) in order to ensure swift progress towards the Workers Paradise that Amerikkka will become, using the successful models of the worker's paradises of The Democratic People's Republic of Korea, The People's Republic of Cuba, and The People's Republic of China. Do not be swayed by the rogue Obahamamama or his agents, destruction lay down that road. If you experience moments of doubt or questions, just repeat to yourself 'It's all for the children!' and then call the toughtpolice and turn in your neighbor.

That is all.

More Victories of the People!!

2007-01-19T08:45:00.000-06:00

Comrades! So much good news I don't know where to begin!

Let us start with the Glorious Workers Paradise of China. The kind and benevolent leaders of the Revolution in China has developed new defense capabilities in order to prevent the hated evil Amerikkkan imperialists from attacking the peace and freedom loving peoples of China from space borne vehicles such as communications satellites and the Hubble Telescope. Take that evil imperial capitalist pig dogs! Since it is an accepted truth that civilizations from other planets are rabid capitalist pig dogs, it will come in most handy when these other civilizations try and invade the peaceful people of China! Take that Space Capitalists!!

Next we have more Enemies of the People brought to justice! Evil Amerikkkan imperialist border patrol agents shoot a defenseless Mexican national just because he was trying to operate his family owned import/export business. All he was trying to do, comrades, is make some money so he can feed his children!! Remember, 'It's all for the children!'. How dare those evil capitalist pig dog Amerikkkan imperialist border patrol agents prevent him from earning money to feed his children! They try to spread lies like he was smuggling drugs, crossing the border illegally, blah blah blah. Even if this was true it is all irrelevant because he was doing it 'for the children' and that makes anything and everything alright. I'm sure the actual events happened this way:

Innocent Mexican taking a nice stroll along the border enjoying the wonderful day. Evil drunk imperialist capitalist redneck Amerikkkan border patrol agents see innocent peace loving Mexican national. One turns to the other in his thick barely literate imperialist Amerikkkan accent and says 'Hey Zeke, lets have us sum gud fun wit dis here Mexicano'. The other giggles uncontrollably. They run after the innocent peace loving Mexican. The innocent peaceful Mexican tries to escape but the hated imperialists can run fast because they chase down peace loving individuals all day long. The agents throw him to the ground and shoot him, laughing and guffawing all the while. Since the agents are distracted laughing and patting each other on the back for what they did, the poor innocent helpless Mexican national crawls back home and sobbingly tells his children that he did not make any money today because of the hated evil Amerikkkan capitalist pig dogs so they will not be able to eat tonight.

But the glorious Justice of the People has been meted out to these horrible horrible people. We have officially entered the Enlightened Age comrades! Rejoice!

People's State of Kalifornia Shining Example!

2007-01-10T14:36:00.000-06:00

The People's State of Kalifornia is a shining example of The Party's goal of the Nanny State. Comrade Schwartzenegger has decreed that all residents of Kalifornia will have health insurance, regardless of citizenship status! A glorious day comrades! And how will the People's State of Kalifornia pay for this, you may ask? Not to worry comrades! Comrade Schwartzenegger is taxing businesses, as well he should. Those bourgeois capitalist pig dogs don't need that money!! The People who don't work, have no skills, have no desire to do anything productive, and are leeches on society need that money!! It's not fair that a doctor who took on the economical burden of 4 years of college, 4 years of medical school, and 5 years of residency should be making $100,000+ per year and high school dropouts who smoke crack all day get nothing!! Wealth redistribution is our top priority! Fear not slackers of Amerika, for we will get you the money you need to have BMWs, Playstations, and big houses!! You are entitled to those things and we will get them for you!

Extra points to the People's State of Kalifornia for incorporating The Party's new 2007 Slogan.

Remember, "Its all for the children."

Official Party Approved Slogan for 2007

2007-01-09T08:15:00.000-06:00

Comrades!!

Another glorious Year of the People is upon us! We have made great advances for The Party in 2006, now we 'Must Work Harder' in 2007 to ensure that our gains do not become losses!! We must continue our tank-like unstoppable roll towards the workers utopia on into the indefinite future. To goad the sheeple into willingly handing over their rights and money, The Party has come up with this slogan:

"It's all for the children!"

What troglodite wouldn't gladly turn themselves into drooling slaves of the state for the children? People who hate children, thats who!!! Do you want to be known as a child hater?! Of course not. No one does.

So, effectively immediately, whenever The Party tries to railroad our socialist workers utopia legislation through congress, it shall be accompanied by "It's for the children!". Whenever the thought police are spotted rounding up dissidents at 3 AM, they shall respond to the witness with, "It's for the children!" and then thump the witness on the head with their Sticks of the People.

For you progressive followers of The Party, whenever you encounter a capitalist bourgeois pig dog that starts blathering about "individuality" "wealth" "personal responsibility" "pay based on achievement" or "I love America", simply scream at them "It's for the children!" and then demonize them as child haters and right wing religious zealots. Then immediately contact the Thought Police and turn them in.

It's For The Children!!!

Winter Solstice Festival

2006-12-22T10:40:00.000-06:00

Comrades!! The Ministry of Truth feels that it must remind everyone at this time of year of sayings and activities that are BANNED and punishable by lengthy stays in the gulag for all offenders. The phrases include but are not limited to:

Merry Christmas
Happy Hanukkah
Merry Kwanzaa
Happy New Year
Seasons Greetings
Yuletide Greetings
Good Tidings
Happy Birthday Jesus
Happy Holidays

And any derivations thereof.

The Official Ministry of Truth saying for this time of year is "Happy Winter Solstice". 'Gift' giving will no longer be allowed because it primarily makes people who are unable to give or receive something feel bad about themselves. The state will now hand out to everyone and everything, living or dead, their 'Annual Winter Solstice Entitlement' which is comprised of a 6"x6"x6" block of tofu, colored red, in honor of The People's Cube which has long fought for the ideals of the Party.

You may still erect a Winter Solstice Tree in your government assigned domicile so long as there are no religious decorations on it and provided that it is artificial as you do not want to murder trees. We recommend pictures of Lenin, Stalin, and Clinton, with a little Karl Marx as the tree topper. Also you may hang little hammer and sickles in place of glass orbs. Recommended lighting for your tree is red lights. No prayers may be said over your Annual Winter Solstice Entitlement for it may offend others. Carols are right out, the only thing that may be sung is The International and The Anthem of the Soviet Union.
If you believe your neighbors are in violation of these suggestions, please report them to our Thoughtcrime Police immediately.
That is all.

Enemy of the People Propaganda

2006-12-15T08:39:00.000-06:00

A good Friend of the People has turned in a thoughtcriminal!! This news is being disseminated to warn everyone about the lies that are being perpetrated by this online criminal about socialized medicine!! As Glorious Uber Comrade HRC has informed everyone, we will be going to nationalized health care as soon as it can be rammed through congress. Free health care for all is a right for all people in good standing with the Party!!! How dare the evil hated capitalist pig dogs try and force people to pay for services!!! Waiting for 8 months to have a brain tumor removed is a small price to pay for equality for all peoples!! Upon dying before treatment, you will be comforted that you are dying for the benefit of the people!! The lies perpetrated by these hooligans shows how selfish and uncaring evil capitalists are!!! The person portrayed in their film thought only of himself and his well being and not the well being of the collective!! Once we are officially in power this Enemy of the People will be rounded up with the help of the Canadian Police of the People and sent to the Education Center of Health and Wellness of the People in Siberia (which is under construction as we speak). Glorious Uber Comrade HRC will not be stopped on her mission to control Amerika's health care for the benefit of the People!!

Mass Purges to Begin

2006-12-12T14:37:00.000-06:00

Since the Party has finally gained power in the Amerikan Congress, the time has come to start the Mass Purgings. These glorious days will go down in history as those where we have swept the land clean of the hated capitalist bourgeois pig dog scum. Once they are out of the picture we can finally embrace the glorious progressive collectivism that would make Lenin proud. According to the glorious five year plan set forth by the Party, after the purges we will implement the redistribution of land and wealth so that no one has more than anyone else.
In order for the masses to make these transitions as painlessly as possible, it is recommended that you self-re-educate by reading Das Kapital by Comrade Karl Marx and all works by Comrades Lenin, Stalin, and Hillary Clinton.
Helpful tip: To gain points with the Party, start your own list of thoughtcriminals in your neighborhood so that you can turn them in when the time comes. Thoughtcrime, in case you need a reminder, is any thoughts, ideas, or actions which are contrary to the ideals of progressivism or collectivism or which cause someone, directly or indirectly, to be contrary to Party ideals through thought or deed.
If you yourself are guilty of thoughtcrime you can still serve the Party and the rest of society by self-purging yourself and relieving the judicial system of yet another trial, Darwin knows it will be overworked.

Enemy of the People Purged!!

2006-12-08T11:43:00.000-06:00

Hated Enemy of The People, Jeane Kirkpatrick, has been purged at last. This non-person was best known for lies spouted to the world during her tenure as propaganda specialist to the United Nations from 1981-85, during the Prime Enemy of the People (Ronald Reagan)'s tenure as Amerikan President. She supported the imperialist bourgeois governments around the world who oppressed the workers who yern to be free of the imperialist capitalist system. What brought her to the attention of Prime Enemy of the People, was a hate filled propaganda article that she published in Commentary Magazine, entitled "Dictatorships and Double Standards". She was also an avid supporter of oppressing our comrades in the middle east who are finally retaliating against imperialist Amerika for thousands of years of crimes against them. After the glorious blow for freedom that was struck on September 11, 2001, she urged Congress to declare war against the "entire fundamentalist Islamic terrorist network."

Such raw blatent hate cannot be tolerated in an enlightened society that Amerika will soon become under Glorious Uber Comrade HRC! It is good that she has been purged by fate, since that will free up an extra space on the floor for someone else who deserves to be re-educated in the soon to be formed Amerikan Health and Wellness Lifestyle Education Centers to be constructed in remote areas of Siberia.

The Party Knows Whats Best For You!!!

2006-12-08T10:15:00.000-06:00

A reminder for everyone: DO NOT QUESTION THE PARTY!!!

We of the Party have decided what is best for your kids to learn and be exposed to in our public indoctrination centers. You do not know what is best, we do. Here is an example of actions not tolerated by the Party. Do not fear!! These Thoughtcriminals will be rounded up and sent off to dig up the war criminals at Arlington so they may tried for crimes against the universe.

WE are the ones who will teach your young ones the truth about Amerika!

WE are the ones who will educate them in the glories of progressivism!!

WE are the ones who will mold them into proper citizens of the commune!!

DO NOT QUESTION!!

7 December A Remembrance of Hate

2006-12-07T10:26:00.000-06:00

Yes today is 7 Dec, a day of remembrance of the hate and atrocities committed by Amerika to drive the peaceful Japanese to bomb Pearl Harbor. The Japanese did not just out of nowhere decide to attack Amerika!! No! Those were lies perpetrated by the evil Republikkkans!! It was because of thousands of years of oppression of the peaceful Japanese by Amerika!! Amerika raped their cows, stole their sheep, and laughed at their buildings!! Enough was enough. On 7 Dec, 1941 the Japanese decided to retaliate against the evil bourgeois capitalists and preemptively destroyed their imperialist navy, thus striking a blow for the common worker against evil capitalist bourgeois swine! And then to top it all off, the hated imperialists disproportionately responded by dropping nuclear bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki!! Over a few sunken ships that Amerika deserved in the first place!! We must never forget the atrocities committed by Amerika on the innocent Japanese and we must also pay them reparations for what was done!
[satire off]
On a serious note, on this day at 0800 in 1941, 2400 American servicemen lost their lives in an unprovoked attack on American soil forever changing our country. I know I will never forget them and what happened. Thankfully during that era, America was a different place and we mobilized and took care of the situation. Unfortunately America is different now, and it seems the leadership would rather appease and play footsie with the enemy instead of putting them in the ground where they belong. The politicians can hem and haw all they want, I'm sure back in 1941 there were people who didn't want to go to war, but we did and those people stood out of the way and let the military do it's job. Now unfortunately these political games that are being played are costing American Soldiers, Marines, Sailors, and Airmen their lives, and that I can never abide or forgive. Just like in Vietnam those soldiers' blood is not on the head of President Bush, but on the demokrats who would rather further their own career over furthering America. Damn you all.
[satire on]

People's Republik of Illinois a Model for Amerika!

2006-12-07T09:59:00.000-06:00

The path to Progressive bliss is oft rough and frought with pitfalls because of the evil Reppublikkkans. Not in the glorious people's Republik of Illinois!! They are continually adopting the ways of The Common Good. The glorious Comrade Rod, has decreed, so far, that the proles in Illinois get free health care for kids, free birth control for womyn, and free day care. Where is this money coming from to pay for this, you may ask. Why wealth redistribution of course! It's not fair that people work hard and make something of themselves and make lots of money while others sit around and do nothing and have none. In the words of The People's Cube: "Your loss is someone else's gain, and your gain is someone else's loss. Thus, losers contribute to society while winners take away from it." So we shall take the money from these evil rich 'winners' and give it to those non rich 'losers'! Ah...Marx, Lenin, and Stalin would be proud. Beware you bourgeois capitalist pig dog swine! Your time of oppression is at an end!

Glorious Day for the Ministry Comrades!!!

2006-12-07T08:55:00.001-06:00

After many long weeks spent by model North Korean workers, the Ministry of Truth is finally online. All directives and postings put forth here shall supercede any and all previous truths. Any deviance from these directives shall be considered THOUGHTCRIME and shall be punished severely since you would be a non-collectivist capitalist pig dog swine not worthy to lick Glorious Uber Comrade HRC's boot!!